Don’t Let Them Steal Your Sparkle
You probably think by looking at me that I would be Regina George reincarnated and totally head of the plastics where my posse and I would terrorize poor fashion victims. But in fact I’m the exact opposite. If you wear something I like I will let you know but that’s it. If I don’t like it then who am I to say anything so I’ll just keep that to myself. Like that old saying goes “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” well that’s what I do. But now in our world everyone feels like they have the right to say whatever they want regardless of if it hurts someone’s feelings. Thanks cyber trolls for that!
As a society we tell you you shouldn’t smoke or we shame you for being overweight. I guess it was only time for people to style shame you. But it’s not like you’d think not shaming you for being out of style or lacking fashion sense but in fact the exact opposite shaming you for looking too stylish or being too dressed up or being too put together.
I never in my life thought being overdressed would be a bad thing. I mean I’ve always believed in dress for the job you want not the one you have. Maybe not even dress for the job but dress for the part in life that you want. And who could find fault in that? I mean this insanely over used but completely appropriate Oscar Wilde quote “A woman can never be overdressed or overeducated.” I believe both whole heartedly! I know I’ve said this before but spending my young and impressionable years watching What Not to Wear where they beat into my head layering pieces and jackets as completer pieces and you should always look pulled together. And that’s what I did! So why is this a bad thing? Back in the day people used to get all decked out to go on airplanes now we can barely be bothered to throw on real clothes. When did this shift happen?
Society has gotten extremely casual especially here in Florida. As a Florida Fashion Blogger I have an uphill battle. I’m sure this applies to anyone who likes to get dressed up no matter where you live. I get looks and comments all the time like “why are you all dressed up” or “who are you dressed up for” umm I’m dressed up for me because I like to look nice and I like to dress like this. I don’t ask you “Why do you look like crap” do I? Damn that sounds pretty petty but it’s true.
I guess to explain I’ve always been a super dressy person and I’ve always been an eclectic dresser. Yes, people didn’t get my style but that’s ok I was doing what I liked. And thank God I had the confidence to dress the way I wanted, and I never cared what anyone thought of me or my style.
I didn’t immediately start to notice responses about my style until I moved back to Florida. Now in my opinion my style was ok I had just lived in London. That city really got my creative juices flowing fashion wise 1,000%, but then living in NYC for three years I really embraced black like most New Yorkers. So when I moved back to Florida and got into a creative field in retail merchandising I thought I could be free to express myself. I don’t have tons of tattoos or piercings but I had short spikey hair. I knew my hair was different so I ensured my outfits were a little more normal but still me. I went on an interview and the number two in-charge supposedly said about me “she doesn’t look right.” After hearing that from the grapevine I toned down my appearance and eventually lost myself in regards to fashion and being creative with my clothing.
Years later I found myself and Stella got her groove back! I mean I really thought I was killing it if I do say so myself. Then I was working in the buying office of a big Southern retailer again in Florida but still a fashion company I’m using the term fashion very loosely. And this older woman who wasn’t very high up but had seniority I could immediately tell had an issue with me, and I couldn’t figure out why. I went out of my way to be nice to her and nothing – ice cold at every turn. Things slowly got worse then came to a head when I heard she was talking trash about my hair and my clothing. I never got specifics but seriously? You’re like old! (By old I mean like you’re well into your adult years, lady! I naively thought/hoped as adult people would conduct themselves as adults). I don’t make fun of your lack of fashion so why do you make fun of mine? I know, I know, everyone says it’s jealousy. But seriously what did my clothes or hair ever do to you? Why do you find the need to bad mouth me? I really wondered about this and wanted to dig deeper than jealousy. Are you jealous I’m confident and can express myself in a different way, or are you jealous of my style what is it exactly? I’ll never know. Yes, people told me to tone it down? And for a minute I considered it but why should I have to tone down my sparkle?
Then at another job my boss loved my style so much always commented on it and would even ask me what the “rules” were for certain things. She was stunned that I responded that I don’t follow rules. Then she started to copy me. I know, I know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but it was like this huge pink elephant in the room because she never addressed it. Like hey I know you wear nude fishnets so I tried what do you think? But no nothing, which was fine.
Needless to say I have not dimmed my sparkle instead I’ve embraced it! That’s the moral of the story here people realize that it’s people’s unhappiness with themselves when they act out or have say hateful things not anything you’ve done! Naively I thought when you left high school that all of that nonsense was gone with it but nope I was wrong! I hope this doesn’t come off as petty or catty but people really feel the need to bully you if you have style. No idea why! I hate the word haters but haters are gonna hate! Don’t let them steal your sparkle! Sparkle on ladies!
Thanks for reading! Have you ever let anyone steal your sparkle?